I fought a ferocious battle with Roomie's USB stick yesterday, since it had suddenly turned into a monster (become write protected without having an external switch). Many lines in the command prompt were written, but the foul apparition was adamant about its read-only status. Several formating softwares were downloaded and utilized to no avail, since the cunning beast was able to evade them (disk not found). Firing projectiles of reason from behind the crenellations of safe-mode proved useless. This damned, loathsome demon was even able to resist the word of God (tampering with the registry), and the future of mankind (my pride) was indeed grim.
But in the darkest of hours, the ancient wisdom of a hero was called upon. Aeons ago, in a different age, the Lion sage had uttered: If there is no switch, it is a hardware problem, and it won't work. Buy a new one. And the words of the old one rang true, the vicious creature unveiled its true form: it is but the tiniest speck of mundane matter. A reaver of the shadows. Feeding on stolen time, frustration and lifepower. An atrocious behemoth of despair.
Ripped out of the den it is astonishingly defenceless against non-binary weaponry and the culture of consumption. If its unruly, broken spirit could not be tamed, another, more benevolent soul should be sought to replace the abomination. Thus, the contemptible fiend is forever trapped in the eternal void of unconnection between worlds. There it shall abide, dwelling in its own abhorrence until the end of its time, the terminal rift.
In the final strife of the odious horror, it is known to be devoured by one or all of three beasts, whose names are whispered by winds from beyond the abyss.
The Hacksaw.
The Grinder.
The Mallet.
Following its obliteration the very essence of the dreadful miscreation shall be trapped in the endless, everchanging sea known by numerous names, of which but one is truthful:
Garbage.
(Certain ancient sources claim that this is indeed not the end of th legend, but that it is still stated that the gorgonian vermin will stay imprisoned until one of two courses of fate will be set into motion. Either it is purged and granted a new existence, restarting the cycle. Alternatively, if the ultimate cycle and the death of time is nigh, the gargantuan sea will oveflow and the universe will drown.)
Moral: Do not engage with dreadful technological pests for more than four hours without retribution, as your spirit will be shattered and bitterness will ensue.
